{"title":"Buttons","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"stop-pictureing-me-naked-button","title":"Stop Pictureing me Naked Button","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSTOP PICTURING ME NAKED Button\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eApparently, some instructions need to be issued in writing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis gloriously inappropriate button gets straight to the point with \u003cstrong\u003e“STOP PICTURING ME NAKED”\u003c\/strong\u003e in big, impossible-to-ignore lettering—followed by the extremely helpful clarification:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Ask me about my OnlyFans.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for backpacks, jackets, convention bags, work lanyards where HR has already given up, or anywhere else you feel the public requires additional guidance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a distressed black, white, red, and yellow design, it has the look of an official warning sign created by an agency that probably shouldn't have been given funding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD.U.I. 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Classification:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classical Nonsense Device\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOperational Purpose:\u003c\/strong\u003e Humor, blasphemy, and lowbrow scholarship\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eField Results:\u003c\/strong\u003e Immediate laughter, groans, or both\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIssued by the \u003cstrong\u003eDepartment of Unclear Intent\u003c\/strong\u003e — odd publications, dubious objects, and deeply questionable decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Department of Unclear Intent","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52905557360951,"sku":null,"price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1006\/4507\/7303\/files\/42ef2b3b-0410-4db1-a664-7979f641cc0b.jpg?v=1787846775"},{"product_id":"be-polite","title":"Be Polite","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBE POLITE, BE PROFESSIONAL Button\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDiplomacy is important.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo is contingency planning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the famously ruthless advice \u003cstrong\u003e“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet,”\u003c\/strong\u003e commonly attributed to General James Mattis, this button combines military dark humor with the kind of practical life philosophy that probably shouldn't be printed in an employee handbook.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe distressed black-and-white design gives it the look of an old field manual, morale patch, or unofficial briefing document—which makes it right at home on backpacks, jackets, range bags, convention gear, or wherever questionable wisdom is displayed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eveterans and military-humor fans\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003edark-humor collectors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003epeople who believe manners and preparedness are equally important\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ebackpacks, jackets, bags, and display boards\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003egifts that make someone laugh and then reconsider the conversation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD.U.I. Classification:\u003c\/strong\u003e Interpersonal Contingency Reminder\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRecommended Protocol:\u003c\/strong\u003e Remain courteous. Remain professional. 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